Sam Horn, Author & Speaker - Tongue Fu, What's Holding You Back? & ConZentrate

.
Take the Bully by the Horns by Sam Horn

Or purchase from www.Amazon.com

Table Of Contents:
(Linked below are chapters currently available on online.)

28 Ways to Lose Your Bully

Way 1: (this page)
Bully For You? & Bully Questionnaire

Way 2: Understand the Nature of the Beast

Way 3: Update Idealistic Expectations

Way 4: Stage a Conflict Resolution Evolution

Way 5: Become a Verbal Samurai

Way 6: Get Out of My Space

Way 7: Be Positively Intolerant

Way 8: Respond to The Strategy, Not The Substance

Way 9: Beat 'Em to the Punch Line

Way 10: Look Out for the Tell-Tale Traits of a Tyrant

Way 11: Police Your Puh-lease

Way 12: Realize Clarity Rules

Way 13: Put Up a Brave Front

Way 14: Know When To Hold 'Em, When to Fold 'Em

Way 15: Put All Kidding Aside

Way 16: Act On (vs. Act Out) Your Anger

Way 17: Bid Adieu to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Way 18: Don't Leave Home Without It

Way 19:
Refuse to Play the
Blame-Shame Game

Way 20: Ask, "Is What I'm Preaching What I'm Teaching?"

Way 21: Ask Yourself, "Is This Deja Moo?"

Way 22: Depend on the Kinkiness of Strangers

Way 23: Continue to Trust - But Tie Your Camel

Way 24: Exorcise Your Demons

Way 25: Lean on We

Way 26: Give Schoolyard Bullies an Education

Way 27: Speak No Evil

Way 28: Screw Up Your Courage

Summary and Action Plan: Savior Self: The Buck Starts Here

Resource Directory

We Want to Hear From You!

www.Amazon.com
^ CLICK HERE ^
"Take the Bully By The Horns"
ORDER NOW!

Way 1: Bully For You? BULLY QUESTIONNAIRE
"At the age of four with paper hats and wooden swords we are all generals - only some of us never grow out of it." Peter Ustinov

A woman said, "When I think of bullies, I picture someone like Bluto out of the cartoon Popeye. You know, a big brute with hairy arms and bulging biceps. Is that what you're talking about?"

No, that's not what we're talking about. Bullies don't necessarily wear black hats or have bulging biceps. They come in all shapes, sizes, genders, ages, and professions. Ninety-year old grannies can be bullies. Priests can be bullies.

A bully is someone who intentionally abuses the rights of others to gain control of the situation and the individual(s) involved. Bullies deliberately and persistently use intimidation and manipulation to get their way. The key words here are intentionally, deliberately, and persistently. All of us are difficult on occasion. Bullies are difficult on purpose. We may be situationally uncooperative or unpleasant. Bullies are strategically uncooperative and unpleasant.

Bullies Aim Below the Belt
"He couldn't see a belt without hitting below it." - Margot Asquith

The following questionnaire can help you determine whether a challenging individual qualifies as a bonafide bully. The question is, does s/he hit below the belt accidentally or aim below the belt intentionally? If you are dealing with several difficult individuals, take the time to fill this out separately for each one.

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE QUESTIONNAIRE

No One Deserves To Be Bullied
A bully's motto: "Chaos, panic, and disorder. Looks like my work here is done."

Do you have someone in your life who scores higher than 51 on this test? You're in the right place. We're not going to dwell on how to deal with everyday difficult people, we're going to focus on how to deal with egregiously difficult people whose goal is to spread chaos, panic, and disorder.

A woman in a seminar asked, "Why do bullies act the way they do? It's hard for me to understand why people would deliberately harm someone else." Good question. Our next chapter explains what's behind bully behavior. Knowing why they do what they do can keep us from being knocked off balance when they try to pull one of their tricks.

Action Plan and Discussion Questions

Think of the most challenging individual in your life. Does s/he qualify as a bully? Why or why not?

Does this individual exhibit other destructive behaviors that weren't on this questionnaire? What are they?

Which of these behaviors do they indulge in most? Give an example of how s/he does this to you.

Now, take the test for yourself. Do you exhibit some of these characteristics? Which ones?

If you discovered that you sometimes behave like a bully, are you willing to read this book and look for ways you can treat people more compassionately? Explain

.
Summary of Bully For You?

Harmful Beliefs/Behaviors		Helpful Beliefs/Behaviors

Intentionally hurts others "I'm going to make him sorry he ever met me."		Occasionally hurts others "I didn't mean to say that. I'm sorry."

Rejects reasonable efforts "It's my way or the highway."		Responds to reasonable efforts "Let's figure out what's fair."

Wants only to win "If you don't like it, too bad. Take it or leave it."		Will accept a win-win "Okay, I'll give a little on this if you agree to that."

Refuses to admit fault "You're dead wrong, and I'm not going to listen to you."		Recognizes when at fault "I wish that hadn't happened, and I won't do it anymore."

Runs over others' rights "I don't give a darn whether your family's upset. This is the way it's going to be."		Respects others' rights "I don't agree with them on this, however we'll do it their way when we're in their home."

Aggravate violent individuals "Hey you fat jerk, sit down. I can't see the game."		Advance in the opposite direction of violent individuals "Usher, could you please talk to the man in seat 45B? He's spilling his beer all over everyone."

TOP

<< Back to Book List
<< Back - Homepage